Back and Bad
by Rodent2000XD
Summary: A long lost relative of Jeeves suddenly turns up at the flat with the strangest dog you will ever meet. With the police on his tail, he takes refuge with Jeeves and his employer (The relative, not the dog). But of course, trouble follows him everywhere. -Not very good at summaries, don't want to say much more or I'll give it away. Please R&R-
1. Chapter 1

**Right, I've decided to have a go at writing a J&W fanfic, so please go easy on me XD. As usual, however, any suggestions etc. are very welcome indeed. Now I'm probably not very good at writing in the style of P.G. Wodehouse, so this is the POV of my own character. (For those who don't know, the dog is from a different book, so I don't own his name or anything about him either, okay? XD Sorry, I couldn't think of a better kind of pooch. Hopefully Jeeves will approve. . .)**

**Anyway, enjoy, and please drop me a review. Also a special 'What-ho!' to KayteaEM, who in my opinion writes the best Jeeves fanfictions. Go and read that brilliant work!**

**Oh, and you may come across the odd Sherlock quote here and there. . . Please, don't hit me. . . Oh, and I'm sorry, but the chapters will be short, but hopefully I will update often, so bear with me.**

I was being chased. I had been for some time actually. I skidded around a corner, almost crashing into an elderly gentleman as I fled from my pursuers. The bundle of fur I was carrying in my arms shuffled, making it increasingly difficult to run. The dachshund poked his long nose over my left shoulder and snarled at the officers that were attempting to keep up with us. I had to carry the dog, otherwise he wouldn't be able to keep up with his little legs.

The name is Marcus, by the way, and I was being chased by the police. Not the first time, I admit, but the fun still hadn't worn off. Unfortunately, neither had the growing sense of panic.

I rounded another corner, my straw colored hair blowing in the wind as I ran, when something caught my eye. An open door, double doors to be precise, to a large building. I deduced that it was a block of flats or something, and raced inside. The gentleman who was usually stationed outside was attending to someone else, so I sneaked inside.

I got a lot of odd looks, I can tell you. Almost everyone I passed stared at me and the dog in my arms. Probably because of the soup ladle tied with twine to his right hind leg. Well, I say leg, it was more a stump really, I had made the repair a long time ago. The poor hound had gotten his leg shot two years back, and the only option was amputation. I would rather have a dog with three legs than no dog at all, so I agreed. Still, he seems happy with the ladle, having, after time and practice, learnt how to walk and run with it.

I dashed up a set of stairs that I spotted across the room, and continued climbing until I was satisfied that the two officers wouldn't make it up so far so quickly. I ran down a hallway, and burst into a random room, hoping desperately that no one was inside.

But someone was inside. In a single glance at his direction from where he was seated on the sofa, I could tell that he was a tea-drinker (obvious), had been engaged numerous times (clear as day), and had a valet (why else would the flat be so tidy?)

He looked up as I slammed the door behind me. "What the devil. . .?" he began, his bright blue eyes wide, until there was a pounding at the door.

"Open up! Open up in the name of the law!" Someone shouted from in the hallway.

I placed my dog, Sam, Sam the Lion, to be precise, on the carpet, and raced to the open window. If only I hadn't gone up so high, my plan would have worked a lot smoother. Still, it had to be done. I would never give up to the officers, they had been after me for a long time now.

I tilted one eyebrow as I looked down out of the window.. "Huh, I seem to have an audience down there," I muttered, looking down the few people who were walking the streets. One particular person caught my eye – just the bowler hat and the way he carried himself, not much to go on. . .


	2. Chapter 2

"Who the devil are you?" asked the gentleman who's flat I had just burst into. He had, apparently, gotten over the shock, and was now more confused than ever.

I turned back to face him. "Look, there's no time to explain, just. . ." I paused. ". . .Look after Sam if I don't return."

But it was then that the door burst open to reveal the two raging officers. "There he is!" one of them yelled, and before I knew what was happening, he had raised his gun and fired. His aim wasn't brilliant, but it still got me in the shoulder. I instantly felt woozy, a blood stain already spreading across my shirt at an alarming rate.

The room seemed to go quiet all of a sudden, everyone's eyes of me, until my vision started to blur and I was in danger of collapsing.

Sam launched himself at the policemen, growling and snarling as he attacked in his attempt to avenge his master.

But someone else had entered the room. Someone with a bowler hat that he tipped in a respectful manner to the policemen, until he saw me, injured and on my way out. But before the darkness embraced me with welcoming arms, I recognized his face. I hadn't seen that face for two years, but it was as clear as could be who it was.

_Well, well, well, _I thought, falling to my knees,_ terribly sorry about the bloodstain on the carpet, Uncle Jeeves. . ._

**This one is very short, but the next are a bit longer. Please drop me a review! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

I came to with a faint taste of brandy on my lips. My brain instantly began whirring into action, which was its way of saying "welcome back online".

I groaned in pain as a strong throbbing suddenly hit my left shoulder, making me wince. My eyes were unfocused, my vision blurred as I tried to take in my surroundings. Someone had bandaged my arm to stop the bleeding, and covered me with a blanket. I appeared to be lying down on a sofa, the same sofa that the gentleman who's flat I had burst into had been sitting on. So I was still in his flat, I _thought _I was alive, but I still had a searing pain in my shoulder. Wonderful, truly wonderful. . .

"Oh, you're awake," said a voice from near me. I turned my head to see a blue-eyed man sitting across from me. He smiled at me in a comforting sort of way.

I attempted to say 'Where's Jeeves?", but it came out as 'whizze Jevs?"

The man smiled again, and looked up as someone else entered the room. Jeeves himself, carrying a tray with a glass of some purple kind of liquid.

"The drink of life," I mumbled, my voice returning. I reached up to take the glass from the tray that Jeeves offered me, but almost dropped it with my shaking hands. "Damn it," I muttered, as I dripped a bit of it on myself.

"If I may suggest that you straighten up, Marcus?" said Jeeves, placing the tray on the coffee table. He took the glass from me and back onto the tray as I attempted to straighten my back. Unfortunately, this resulted in more pain for my shoulder, which had suddenly spread through my entire arm. I gasped as it shot through me, and tried using my other arm to prop myself up.

I took the glass once more and downed the lot, my vision clearing as the stuff entered my system. I sighed and ruffled my hair. "Where's Sam?" I asked, looking around for him.

"Sam is quite safe. . . in my room, I'm afraid. Sleeping on my pillow," said Jeeves with a slight edge in his voice. I couldn't help sniggering.

"Yes, he was always particularly fond of your scent, Uncle Jeeves," I replied, grinning.

"Wait, hang on, Jeeves is your uncle?" said the blue-eyed man (I couldn't think of anything else to call him at the moment).

"Yes, sir, I am," Jeeves replied, taking the empty glass from me and placing it back onto the tray.

"Good lord. . ."

"This is Mr. Wooster, my employer," Jeeves added. Mr. Wooster flashed a quick smile in my direction and I returned it.


	4. Chapter 4

It was suggested by Jeeves that I stay and rested on the sofa for the next couple of days. But of course, me being me, I couldn't stand just sitting around for so much as a few hours. Half and hour later, I was already wandering around, Sam at my heels. Mr. Wooster seemed confused as to Sam's right hind leg.

"What, um. . . what happened to his leg?" he asked, peering over his newspaper.

I turned to face him from my position at the window. "It got shot," I said simply. "The only option was amputation. I had to replace it with something." I picked up Sam from the floor and held him in my arms. He licked my nose in greeting.

"I bet Jeeves wasn't very happy about that," said Mr. Wooster quietly, not realizing that said valet had just entered the living room.

"No, sir, I was not," said Jeeves's voice coldly, making Mr. Wooster jump out of his seat.

"Oh, Jeeves, it's just you. . Well well well. . ."

"Hence the reason why I had to purchase a second soup ladle, sir," said Jeeves, dusting the window sill.

I placed Sam back onto the floor, my injured shoulder growing weaker by the second while I was holding him. "I think I'll just pop into the kitchen for a drink," I said, "I feel a bit dehydrated."

I entered the kitchen before the others had barely processed the information. I found myself a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap, downing it quickly, when I suddenly remembered something.

"Jeeves!" I went back into the living room. "Have you still got my violin somewhere?"

**Sorry about any spelling mistakes, I didn't get this beta-read. Sorry if Jeeves seems a bit OOC XD. Please drop me a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at the dusty case for a moment before opening it. "I haven't seen this old thing for years," I murmured, running my hand over the varnished wood.

"Were you any good?" asked Mr. Wooster with interest.

"Fairly," I replied, picking up the violin with my good arm and leaving the bow in the case. Sam sniffed the instrument, his tail wagging as he remembered the days when I used to play. "I won't be able to play again for a while though. . ."

I placed the violin carefully back into the case and closed it. I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. "I think I might go for a walk," I said, rising to my feet once more.

"I would suggest that you wait for a few days before leaving the building," said Jeeves, appearing in the room holding a tray with two glasses. He offered one first to Mr. Wooster, who downed the drink in a single gulp, and the second one to me.

I was about to take a sip when I suddenly noticed something – a tiny amount of what looked like a powder sat in the bottom of my drink. I doubt any one else would have noticed, but with my observational powers it was very easy to see.

"Is there something about my injury that you're not telling me, Jeeves?" I said suddenly, peering at the glass.

He seemed to understand what I meant instantly. "The bullet is still embedded in your shoulder," he said quietly.

I groaned. "And you drugged my drink so that it could be removed?"

"I'm afraid so. The bullet must be removed as soon as possible to prevent further injury on your part."

"Right. . ." I placed my glass back onto the tray. "So now I know about the drug, I'm not going to drink it, so therefore. . . what are the other options. . .?"

Mr. Wooster seemed very confused. Apparently he hadn't known about Jeeves' plan.

Jeeves thought for a moment. I could tell just by studying his face what he was thinking of. "No," I said bluntly. "No, no, no, and no. You are not going to force anything down my throat or inject me with anything, got it? Wait a minute. . ." An idea had suddenly come to me. "Alcohol. Come on, Mr. Wooster. Let's pop over to the Drones. . ."

**Okay, Jeeves and Wooster are definitely OOcC. Sorry about that XD. Leave a review!**


	6. Chapter 6

I was a bit. . . sloshed, when we got back. I couldn't focus my eyes at all, and I could barely stand up, let alone walk back to the flat. Mr. Wooster had to sort of carry me into the building.

Jeeves was not at all happy about this. He had tried to persuade me not to carry out the plan before we had left, but the bullet needed removing as soon as possible, and I wanted it out.

I don't really remember much when we got back to the flat. Just Jeeves' disapproving look, my vision being blurry, and then I think I fell asleep at some point or other. When I came to there was a terrible pounding in my head. I was, once again, positioned on the sofa, a blanket covering me. I didn't feel to good, and a wave of nausea suddenly hit me as I stood up. I groaned as I stumbled towards the bathroom, checking my watch as I did so. It had just gone five in the morning – so not even Jeeves would be up at this time. Sam was probably with him, trying to snuggle up next to him in his room or something.

I thought I was going to throw up, hence the reason why I had rushed to the bathroom, but my body seemed to be fighting the nausea. It passed, and I made my way back into the living room and onto the sofa.

My injured arm felt quite a bit better though. In fact, I could probably play the violin if I wanted to. I stretched my arm a few times, and it was only then did I notice I was wearing a different shirt. It was a white shirt, and I was wearing black linen trousers. I deduced that Jeeves had bought it recently, probably for Mr. Wooster to wear, but his employer didn't approve and hadn't ever worn it.

Now, back to this violin. . .


	7. Chapter 7

I held my violin in my left arm, my shoulder hurting ever so slightly, but I ignored the pain as I tuned the instrument. With the bow in my other hand, I dragged it across the strings tunelessly, just to hear what it sounded like. Good enough.

I tried to remember some of my older songs. There was one I remembered very clearly, but I couldn't quite recall the others. Still, it was worth a go.

I began to play. And sing.

The song was slightly sad, but I enjoyed finally being able to play. I got so carried away in my music, that I began to dance around the room as well. This is what I sang:

_If we could sit together a moment  
And talk forever just to pass the time  
I would smile as the shivers and chills run down my spine  
With your eyes are locked on mine_

Oh we will fill the metro skies with country air  
And when you close your tired eyes I'll meet you there  
I'll meet you there

Deep inside of you there's a ruby glow  
And it gets brighter then you and I will ever know  
There's a rushing sound that surrounds us when we walk alone  
And it's everything we've never known

Wander down the street  
And I would be the pavement beneath your feet  
If we could just be immobile for some time  
And finally figure out the way we feel  
About the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks  
It still looks a bit surreal

Oh I tend to disappear here and there  
So concentrate and you'll feel me everywhere  
And well feel the metro skies with country air  
If you're lost when you close your eyes I'll meet you there

You could be anywhere  
I'll meet you there  
You could be anywhere  
Open your eyes and see everything you can be  
I'll meet you there. . .

I finished with a sigh. It was when I heard applause from behind me did I spin around. Mr. Wooster and Jeeves were standing in the doorway of the living room. It was obvious that Mr. Wooster had just gotten up, not doubt roused my by my playing. Jeeves, however, was fully dressed in his usual black suit.

I gave a small bow in their direction.

"I must say, you were dashed right about being 'fairly good' at playing the violin," said Mr. Wooster grinning.

**Just so you know, I DO NOT OWN THE SONG! That is from Owl City, and the song is called 'I'll Meet You There'. Go listen to it and get it on iTunes or something, it's a terrific song! Please leave a review! And again, please forgive any spelling mistakes XD.**


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